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artist statement for b e c o m i n g 

a solo exhibition at Larimer Gallery, Palatka, FL, 2023

Becoming is the healing narrative of woman postpartum. My home-body is a container of ancestral wisdom and pain, a storage facility of trauma, a vessel for supreme wisdom to remember itself within, a fountain of love. 

 

My ever changing body; ballooned, deflated, stretched, tugged, marked. The fragility of life can sweep you off your feet 

 

 - pushed to the edge of where life and death meet. I sit in my heart center, lift up the veil, and see the divine

 

I use my lived experiences as a foundation for understanding the intersection between the Cosmic Spirit, Love, trauma, fear, vulnerability, domesticity, and motherhood. I continue to explore identity and the gap trauma creates between the omnipresent divinity and the impermanence of being human. 

 

My art-making practice transforms the intangible narrative of becoming a mother into palpable objects which shelter my stories. Motherhood acts a platform to perform all the pillars of yoga of which are then absorbed and processed into large scale collages. Embarking on a deep spiritual and healing journey, my personal becoming is returning me home to Atman, my true Self, and is mirrored in the marks, textures, colors, and layers in my works on paper. 

 

Monumental collages act as skins, absorbing my lived experiences. These works are bodily, visceral, and alive. They have a microbial quality with textural and deeply layered flesh. They are conceived from collaborative paintings and drawings made with my children which I then shred, tear, rearrange, and use as the foundational material for my paintings to develop upon, akin to the transformation of my body, mind, and soul experiences as a mother. 

 

A yearning to restore inner harmony lingers in the storytelling embedded in the works alongside representations of sentimental objects. Childhood games and learning activities like writing and math exercises are recorded in my works. Meaning is given to the mundane and repetitive nature of domestic life forging new ways of seeing and communicating as a mother, maker, partner, yogi, and divine being - parts of my ever evolving humanity. Crayons, drool, crushed up medicine used as pigment, marks from children’s safety scissors, stickers, glue, glitter, kids workbook pages, to-do lists, and letters are smashed together within my works. 

 

As I sit on the floor playing tic-tac-toe with my son Leo, and my daughter Rai clinging to my breast, my nervous system shot to pieces, stuck in fight-or-flight, stomach sore from being manipulated, heart sore from a broken partner, tears rising, overwhelmed and overstimulated, signing songs and smiling. Leo giggles and claps as he beats me in the game. The complexity and messiness of motherhood is invisible, often lonely, and simultaneously joyous and magnificent. Traumatic birthing experiences can make life extremely confusing and pull you deep into the darkest parts of humanity or the brightness of Brahman and Love. 

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